Its starting to escape me. Everyone says Time is a constant, but I keep seeing it as something flexible and non-linear. The older I get, the less time I seem to have. I blink and half a month has blew by, I blink again, and its a new season. The funny thing is, I actually try to structure my time better now, I try to categorize and manage it, and then life somehow flips around and does the opposite thing. Its almost like I'm being mocked.

You wanna try to manage time better? Well its just going to slip away quicker if you do. I still remember the days of being a kid where afternoons would stretch out and feel like there was no end. I could lay on my parents bed, stare at the clock and wonder when would the day end, it was moving so slow! And now? Friday comes, and next thing I know, its Monday and I'm trying to recount what the hell happened over the weekend. Such is life I guess, the more you're cognizant of something, the more it slips away faster. Or at least that's how it feels like.

I remember a time during elementary school where time was compartmentalize for us. There would be holidays, and of course the school was always be dressed up in the appropriate theme. Then when you hit highschool and college, milestones were set up in terms of friendships, relationships, accomplishments. But now that I'm living an adult life, and its up to me to set up markers and terms on what changes and what stays in the same in my mind, its more difficult to grasp onto a routine concept to say, "yes, this time has passed." Its harder to say to myself, "you used your time wisely." And its easy to buy into the hollywood cliche of "seizing the day" but really, you can't say that in the moment. I can prepare to create those moments, but the reality is I can't really do that until its passed and look at it in retrospect. And well, its just difficult to wrap my mind around the fact that even if I try to resist change and time, it will always be flowing and if I don't drink from it, I will squander it.