Dear Brian DePalma,

We get it, you like Hitchcock. You like him so much you want to make films that you hope people will say, "yes, that was a very Hitchcockian film." Which someone will giggle because the non-word "cockian" was uttered. But guess what Mr. DePalma, you're not Hitch. It doesn't matter how many foreshadowing elements you put into your film so you can flash back a la M. Night all throughout the third act doesn't make you a brilliant filmmaker. You tried it in Mission Impossibe 1 and you left most of the country uttering WTF? And now, in the Black Dahlia, you just tried to turn up the volume with even more convoluted flashbacks and pushing Josh Hartnett's limited acting envelope to the point where all he can do is scrunch up his forehead to look more angsty.

Speaking of M. Night, he ran right by and grabbed that title you've been striving for all along. "This generation's Hitchcock." So yeah, sorry man, its time to stop trying to be something your not. Just be happy that you're making movies and not like the rest of us stuck in cubicle jobs writing entries in our blogs about how we wasted 2 hours of our life wishing the studios would stop blowing smoke up our ass about how a movie "directed by Brian DePalma who brought us great films as Scarface and Carrie" is coming to a theater near us. Yes, you made a few great films that were good because maybe you weren't trying to be Hitch so hard. So maybe, just maybe you can go back to doing that and stop surrounding yourself with guys that say, "yes Mr. DePalma, if you insert a 10 minute dollying roving shot, it will add a lot intensity to this act!" By the way, the long scene at the beginning of Snake Eyes, was interesting, but really, sometimes those scenes are the same scenes that my parents used to call my home movies "drawing out time to waste it." There is something to say about straightforward exposition rather than the lackadasical head scratching ones you seem to come up with.

I say this because I care, and so I can feel like I've spent my somewhat hard-earned cash on something I can feel satisfied with. Thanks.

A wannabe filmmaker,
me.

Labels: film